20 Excuses You’ll Use to Quit Your Resolutions—Ranked!
A hilarious breakdown of the most ridiculous excuses people make for abandoning their goals. Warning: You’ll probably see yourself in at least 10 of these.
#20 – ‘I’ll Start Monday’
Why It Works: Mondays are for new beginnings and… existential dread.
Pro Tip: When Monday arrives, bump it to next Monday. Repeat until 2030.
#19 – ‘It’s Too Cold to Exercise’
Why It Works: Because stepping outside might turn you into a popsicle.
Pro Tip: Wear 17 layers, sweat like crazy, and blame frostbite anyway.
#18 – ‘I Deserve a Cheat Day’
Why It Works: You worked out once. Olympic medal pending.
Pro Tip: Turn your cheat day into a cheat month and call it “balance.”
#17 – ‘I’m Too Busy’
Why It Works: Everyone respects a busy person. Even if you’re just busy rewatching your favorite Netflix show.
Pro Tip: Say “I’m too busy” while scrolling Instagram for 3 hours.
#16 – ‘Healthy Food Is Too Expensive’
Why It Works: Kale costs more than chips, so obviously chips win.
Pro Tip: Ignore that you spend $7 a day on coffee.
#15 – ‘I’m Just Not Feeling It Today’
Why It Works: Motivation is for the weak. Naps are for champions.
Pro Tip: Turn “not today” into “not ever.”
#14 – ‘I’ll Wait Until After [Insert Any Future Event]’
Why It Works: Events happen every week. Your excuse is evergreen.
Pro Tip: Always have a birthday party lined up as your alibi.
#13 – ‘I Need More Research First’
Why It Works: Wikipedia is basically college, right?
Pro Tip: Research workout plans until you need a nap from mental exhaustion.
#12 – ‘I Can’t Do It Alone’
Why It Works: Misery loves company. So do excuses.
Pro Tip: Find a partner equally unmotivated so you can quit together.
#11 – ‘I’ll Treat Myself If I Skip Today’
Why It Works: Treats are more fun than sweating. Duh.
Pro Tip: Treat yourself to avoiding the gym permanently.
#10 – ‘I Don’t See Results Yet’
Why It Works: Muscles should appear after one sit-up. Period.
Pro Tip: Complain loudly while eating donuts.
#9 – ‘I Already Messed Up, So What’s the Point?’
Why It Works: Perfection or bust. Mostly bust.
Pro Tip: Dive into a pint of ice cream and call it research.
#8 – ‘I’ll Do Double Tomorrow’
Why It Works: Math is hard. Especially when “double” means zero.
Pro Tip: Avoid mirrors to maintain plausible deniability.
#7 – ‘I Don’t Have the Right Equipment’
Why It Works: Fancy shoes make all the difference—or so you tell yourself.
Pro Tip: Keep buying gadgets until your budget collapses.
#6 – ‘It’s Just Too Hard’
Why It Works: Adulting is already hard enough.
Pro Tip: File this under “self-care.”
#5 – ‘I’ll Start Again Next Year’
Why It Works: New year, same lies.
Pro Tip: Plan resolutions for 2045 instead.
#4 – ‘I Don’t Have Time Right Now’
Why It Works: TikTok dances don’t learn themselves.
Pro Tip: Make “right now” stretch indefinitely.
#3 – ‘I’m Too Tired’
Why It Works: Adult naps are a constitutional right.
Pro Tip: Sleep through January.
#2 – ‘I’ll Never Stick With It Anyway’
Why It Works: Predict failure early and avoid disappointment later.
Pro Tip: Brag about your ability to quit faster than anyone else.
#1 – ‘Life’s Too Short to Stress About Resolutions’
Why It Works: YOLO.
Pro Tip: Celebrate by eating nachos in bed.
The Takeaway:
Resolutions are like gym memberships—great in theory, tragic in practice.
Ready to give up already? Share your excuses below!